Life is confusing. There are times when you feel like you have it all together, and then some seemingly small incident will occur, and you feel like you know nothing, or never did. There are times when I wish life was governed by pure logic, and then there are times I wished it existed without it. They can seem to almost be at war, and your future rides on the victor. Lest some of you think ill of me, I know we were created to be emotional beings, because God is emotional. I've often heard the cliche, "Enjoy the journey," and to that I would say, the only way you can enjoy the journey is if you're not driving. I'll do my best to be a wonderful passenger, but my designated driver is Jesus Christ. If I were the one plotting my course, I could never "Enjoy the journey." I could never be guaranteed that I would get it right. But with my Best Friend leading the way, I can enjoy the scenery and conversation with Him along the way. I can trust in Him. That's such a bold statement, and must be used carefully. Yes, we can on one hand have the utmost confidence in God's sovereign power to accomplish His will, but that doesn't mean I always "feel" absolutely safe and secure. Feelings are fickle. Some may think me heretical at this point, but I don't believe that trust will always eliminate every remnant feeling of apprehension or uncertainty. However, I do believe that trust is a conscience choice, and one that I have made. And even if my world does cave in around me, I know the One plotting my course, will be there to walk by my side through it all.

Ryan

Tags: Random

My thoughts have been rather jumbled as of late. A few of them are:

1. School starts in less than a month...kind of puts me in the doldrums right now.

2. We as humans love mysteries. Most bookstores have an entire section devoted just to this genre. Is it a good thing? Is it simply a by-product of our innate desire to discover truth about God? Should some things about God be left as a mystery?

3. Where do you draw the line between unrealistic perfectionism, and realistic performance?

a. Corollary to #3 -- How hard do you push yourself to your limits before it goes "too far"?

4. Why is it sometimes so difficult to discern the direction of God? (Not enough experience? Immaturity? Personal Faults?)

5. How is it possible to forget in a few weeks what you've studied for a few months?

6. Too many other thoughts to mention.

Summer is drawing to a close. This has been the fastest summer I can ever remember. Filled with busyness, laughter, hurt, and God.

Ryan

Tags: Random

Whew! I finally have a few precious moments to slow down and let you all know what's going on. Tomorrow is Student Development Day here at GBS, which means that we have no classes, and hence, no homework due tomorrow. But, it has been very busy lately (as always), and I am enjoying my time of just relaxing. I haven't taken pictures in quite a while, and I was getting shutter happy tonight so I took a few pictures of items around my room. One is of my Archaeological Study Bible, which Megan got me for Christmas. I love this Bible! It has been awesome for both devotional reading, and background research for a school paper.

The other Bible is my Reader's Greek New Testament. For those of you who may not know, The New Testament was written in Greek, Koine Greek to be exact, which is what I've been studying since the beginning of this year. It's a lot of work! But it's worth it, and it's slowly paying off as I can now stumble along through the passage as the preacher reads from the pulpit. I have a long way to go, but, the Lord is helping.

The next picture is of John 3:16 in the original Greek.

The other picture is of a gadget Megan also got me for Christmas, a remote control helicopter. This thing is very hard to fly, but when you finally get it going right for a few moments, it's a blast!

I am really enjoying my classes so far this semester! They are really stretching me to think, and to learn. The strange thing about knowledge is that only makes you hungry for more. Maybe because the old cliche is true "The more you learn, the more you realize how little you actually know." I will try and keep you more updated from here on out *fingers crossed with smirk on face*. Have a great day!

Ryan

Tags: School, Random

It's been a pretty slow start so far this semester. Three of my professors are actually in another country, so I really haven't started in three of my classes. Although, I must admit, I have felt guilty about not compensating for this by pushing all the harder in my other classes. Oh well, maybe I can store up this relaxation for later in the semester.

I've had a few thoughts that have been pestering me lately. Do we really think that God is good? Do we really think He has our best interest at heart? Do we really rely upon "grace through faith" for our salvation? Or do we subconsciously strive to 'earn' our salvation. I know that we've been thoroughly indoctrinated with the concept of the "gift" of salvation, and would quickly check the correct answer if asked 'how to receive salvation' on a test, but has it truly 'sunk in' yet? Or do we strive and struggle in a vain, subconscious attempt to earn God's favor. Have we accepted the fact that God loves us for who He made us to be, and there's nothing further we could do to make Him love us more? He loved us enough to die for us, while we were still sinners, is there any better way for Him to show His love to us? ("But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8)

Dr. Phil was talking in class the other day about Nahum 1:1-7. You really owe it to yourself to read that passage! Did you realize that God is jealous of you? Not in the negative way that we so often think of today, but jealousy, at its root, is a desire, an intense desire. So God intensely desires you! And as you read through the first 6 verses of that passage, and you visualize just how thunderous and powerful this God is, it can be almost terrifying. He rebukes the sea, and it dries up. Mountains quake in His presence and hills literally melt. His wrath is poured out like fire. But then you come to vs. 7, "The Lord is good, A stronghold in the day of trouble, And He knows those who take refuge in Him." Visualize God as Nahum 1:1-7 describes Him. See as He walks and moutains quake, and hills melt before Him. See the ferocity in His face as He pours out His wrath, but look closer. There is a follower of God, running for all he or she is worth, being pursued by the enemy, but he or she is running straight toward this Being Who turns the world upside down with His presence, because they know, that if they can just reach Him, they will be safe. (Psalm 18:10) And as the follower nears God he doesn't slow down, but barrels straight into Him, and is swallowed up in a haven of safety, and the enemy is forced to abandon its chase.

If I serve a God Who loves me enough to die for me while I was yet a sinner; if He is jealous of His relaitonship with me, then I have nothing to fear. I can stand unashamedly, I can work uninhibited, and I can live in peace knowing that I don't have to worry about earning my right to God, because He has provided the way, all I have to do is walk in it. Why on earth should I fear and worry about situations that I might face? If I truly believe that I serve such a powerful God, and that He intensely desires a relationship with me, then I can simply relax, go limp, and allow Him to work out His will in my life. It's kind of like a swimmer who is drowning. They're thrashing and struggling for all they're worth, trying desperately to stay afloat, but all the time unaware that the life guard is right there trying to rescue them, but is unable to help because they will not simply relax, and allow themselves to be rescued. Help me, Lord, to live with reckless abandon to You, being completely dependent on nothing but your love for me, and your intense desire to have a relationship with me.

Ryan

Tags: Study, Random, Bible